"Weaving Nets .... A Life Lesson Put Into Practice"

Peace at 30,000 feet? For me, yes …. But not for every passenger. Some sleep, some work, some read … while others try not to focus on the thousands of feet of air and clouds between the plane we are flying in and the ground below. If we thought about if for too long, we would wish there was some sort of net that we could weave to guarantee a safe landing should something go awry.

When I’m at 30,000 feet (like I currently am at present) it makes me think of the nets I have been meticulously weaving for our family over the past few years. It was exactly 3 years ago that I was deeply impacted by Randy Pausch. He was dying of pancreatic cancer and in his final months he wrote and published “The Last Lecture.” In one of his final interviews, he was asked if he was sad about dying.

His reply, (paraphrased from my memory) “I can waste my time being sad, or I can spend that time being productive & weaving nets that will catch my wife & children when I am no longer here. You see, I won’t be here to catch them when they fall anymore. And they are about to fall off of a cliff.”

That lecture, coupled with my own health scare 6 years ago, caused me to think differently. Some may say it is morbid, others say I am overly organized, while others “get it.” You see, it is not my own mortality that scares me anymore. It is that tremendous “cliff falling experience” that my husband and children would certainly have should I no longer be a part of their physical lives.

There are the popular sayings:
Live each day to its fullest …. Squeeze the most out of each moment …. Don’t leave love unspoken and affection un-shown … you just never know how each day will end … live life with no regrets…

While I make a conscious effort to practice each of those on a daily basis, as a mom, I would also add ~ weave some nets…. And get busy doing so. By weaving nets, I don’t mean to literally “take up the art of weaving.” Instead, I mean don’t wait to pass on the treasures of your heart. Preserve your legacy so that each child feels a sense of “mommy net” woven just for them. Leave them something emotionally tangible, pieces of your heart, advice you want them to know, scripture or sayings that were impactful to you, the reason you fell in love with your spouse etc. You don’t need to wait to do this…. It can become a part of your daily life.

Another part of the fabric I weave into the nets for my children are the intricate details I already know about them. For example ~

One daughter ~ loves to read & her favorite book series right now is The Guardians. She is my social butterfly and will share her heart with you when you snuggle with her at the end of the day.

My son~ is my caterpillar that doesn’t like to draw attention to himself, will play sports but will claim to dislike each one the first time he tries it, and will always eat a PB&J if he doesn’t like what you are cooking that evening.

My youngest ~ thinks her last name is “tornado” because we have described her that way for so long (lovingly of course). She can destroy a room in seconds with her messes and will help clean up if you make it a game. She LOVES her friends and school is her favorite activity.

These details I chronicle on a quarterly basis to ensure that those whom I have entrusted to care for them (in the event of the unthinkable) know my “heart knowledge” of my precious children. You see, the nets we weave for our children are also composed of tiny facets of their lives that they can’t yet describe themselves. Nobody knows my children better, when they are at their most relaxed & most vulnerable, than my husband & I. We wouldn’t want caregivers to lack the knowledge we already have of my little ones. Starting from scratch and trying to “figure them out” would be incredibly unfair to everyone involved.

So, I don’t view it as morbid or “overly organized” to regularly chronicle my children’s pet peeves, learning styles, favorite foods and fears (among other things). Instead, I view it as chronicling my heart over a series of months into a beautiful net that we hope to never need. And one day, I will publish each child’s book just for them ~ “Mommy’s heart …. Just for you.”

Warmly,
Lori Martin
Founder & Chief Operating Mom

"Get It" Before You "Need It"

The Purple Martin & Co.
Lori Martin, Founder & Chief Operating Mom

“Get it Before You Need It”
A new advertisement on television caught my eye the other day. The ad was a national Pharmacy telling us moms to “Get It Before You Get It” …. translation: stock your medicine cabinet & get your flu vaccine before you get the flu.” Another translation ~ “be prepared.”

The slogan has stuck in my head and like a dutiful mother who tries to prepare for any inconvenience when it involves my children ~ I have taken 2 of my 3 little monkeys to get their flu vaccines & have perused the aisles of the pharmacy for my fever reducers, cough drops, and chicken noodle soup. (Monkey #3 is going this week!)

The parallel for “preparing for anything unexpected ~ not just the flu” in our family’s life didn’t escape me. I immediately thought of the handful of mommies I am working with whom are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their new babies. These mommies are putting all of their critical information into a valuable family handbook before they need to use it. I applaud their natural nesting instincts to care for their families and I absolutely “get it.”

After all, I was the mom who thought I had it all pulled together prior to the birth of my son in 2004. As life would play out, my version of vital information organization at the time (my computer, blackberry, drawer of business cards, posted daily schedule and physician’s phone number) didn’t allow anyone to step into my shoes when I truly needed their help. Hence, I pulled together my first “Martin Family Handbook” and 4 years later, founded The Purple Martin & Co. Read more about my story at www.thepurplemartinandco.blogspot.com (click on my story)

Whether you’re just now hearing about how a Family Handbook can help you prepare for the unexpected or if you’ve interested in getting started, contact us at thepurplemartin@bellsouth.net. We’re here to help use our talents to help your family “get organized before you need to be.”

Warmly,
Lori Martin
Founder & Chief Operating Mom

A Well Organized “Command Central” = Key to Back to School Sanity

I often chuckle about the fact that my husband has “man land” – a nice cave tucked away in a corner of the house where he can barely hear the children if the door is closed. Not a single toy to be found and if the surround sound is on the TV, he can hear absolutely nothing – I envy that peace & lack of items to trip over – although it is well deserved. He loves and deserves his space – as do us moms. Which is why I carved out a piece of “woman land” in our home.

Contrary to his “man land” – my “woman land” may not look or sound peaceful (the photo above is NOT typical ... it is usually a chaotic mess), but it is our family’s command central and keeps me sane during the chaos of the school year. “Woman land” at our house is my haven for all things critical to our success: book bags, kids shoes & coats, school work, laundry, coloring books, crafts and coupons. The iron and ironing board live here, the dog eats & sleeps here, my computer and printer reside here, the memo board that holds all birthday party invitations hangs on my wall like a “work of art” and even the extra freezer containing all “frozen essentials” is kept in my “woman land.” I call it my “laundry room extraordinaire,” while my 9 year old makes fun of me and calls me ”Fancy Nancy” for giving such a “posh term” to a place that looks like a dumping ground most of the time.

Sometimes I believe the only thing missing from this sacred place is my college diploma. After all – when I was asked by the pledges of my sorority “where I saw myself in 10 years,” the response of “honing my talents of folding laundry while emailing my son’s teacher while simultaneously feeding the family hermit crab, preventing the dog from drinking from the fish bowl and grabbing a bag of frozen broccoli for dinner” ~ did not exactly cross my mind back then. That is college diploma worthy!

What does bring me peace about our “chaotic command central / laundry room” is how it functions. The key element of any command central is that it meets your family’s daily information and organization needs. You don’t need a large space to create a practical command central for your family. In fact, the only requirements are that it be “completely yours” (most of the time) and that it “easily organizes information relevant to all family members.”

Every mom needs a space for both organization and disorganization (those moments when we just don’t have time to be organized.) The tips that work for my command central are outlined below … but please use this as a guideline and make whatever system you have work for you! Remember the importance of “trying a system before you buy a new product.” Don’t spend a lot of money on products (shelving, files, pretty memo boards etc.) to “help you organize” until you develop the plan for a command central that works for you and your loved ones. Once the system is in place, the products will be easy to pick out and can found on even the tightest budget.

The best news is that with just a few minutes dedicated each day to organization, your command central can turn into a “woman land” that you reign over and are proud of! Toys can even be “optional” ☺

My plan …

1. Kids, Empty those Book Bags and Hang them Back Up (oh and put the shoes away too!)
Most days your child’s school bag will contain something that needs your attention. Give your children the responsibility of emptying their book bags every day after school and give them a designated spot in your “command central” to put all papers that need your attention. Have a designated “book bag spot” where your children can easily reach a hook to hang their own book bag up off the ground. Have shoes (and clean socks) land in a bucket or basket that is near the book bags so they don’t have to go hunting for them on their way out the door the next morning.


2. Moms, Tackle the In Box - 15 mins. or less
After you put the children to bed, pour yourself a cup of tea (or decaf coffee) and designate 15 minutes to address all of the “papers” that came into your in-box from the children. For me this generally means ~
a. completing forms
b. filling out book orders
c. signing permission slips
d. signing homework
e. putting items back into kids book bags

3. Moms, Post Visual Cues - 2 mins
After you finish your “homework” use the next 5 minutes to post relevant items on the family communication center. Your family communication center should be visual and someplace all family members can see and reference on the way out the door. The refrigerator or a bulletin-board by the back door are both great places to post these important items! You can even use space in the garage next to the door they go in or out!
a. monthly lunch menus
b. class schedule
c. activity schedule
d. project deadlines

4. Moms, Update Those Calendars – 5 Minutes or Less
Take 5 minutes at the end of each day to update your calendar with any additional dates or times that came in through your voicemail, email, or bookbag “express” that day. Send your husband a quick email reminding him of any dates that will need to be put on his calendar. I often “cc” myself so I have record of having sent him the reminder ☺
a. parent / teacher conferences
b. parent’s night at school
c. lunch dates with your children at school
d. field trips relevant to them

5. Moms, Cull Through The “To Do Bucket” – Every Sunday
If you have items that do not require your attention this week and can be put on the back burner, put these papers in a “to do pile” (I prefer a clear sterilite brand 6 qt container) to address at your convenience. Glance through your “to do bucket” every Sunday to ensure there is nothing else that needs immediate attention for the next week. A word of caution ~ do not let your to do bucket expand beyond a 6 quart container (shoe box size) otherwise it will become a “to do mountain!”

6. Moms, Turn Those Piles Into Files – 10 Minutes Weekly
Take 10 minutes at the end of each week to file all documents that you need to save for reference. I keep the following documents in my family handbook so everyone in my household can reference them if needed.
a. activity schedules
b. team rosters
c. teacher instructions / special notes
d. class lists & school contact information
e. updated medical information / physicals (new shot records)
f. activity receipts & registrations

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do ....

I'm generally good at saying "good-bye" to "stuff and clutter." When I am through with something I am definitely ready to "move on." The single exception has been with my children's precious artwork. As I mentioned in an earlier post, it is not that I am attached to the item ~ we really don't have a Van Gogh in the house. I am actually very sentimental and attached to the memory associated with the item.

I remember the day Emma made the sign welcoming me home from the hospital with baby Molly with such joy! The neon pink poster board with the handwriting of a 1st grader's inscription of love was impossible to toss. The snake made of modeling clay that Charlie used to walk around the house on a string and called "Snakey" makes me giggle inside that putting it in the garbage was out of the question! All of this until a recent intervention with my good friend, Laurie Martin.



Laurie is Charlotte's premier home organizer and she runs the business "Simplicity." I mentioned my dilemma to Laurie (see the photo of my attempt to purge the mess above) and told her the "stuff" was weighing on me and I was having a terrible time sorting trash from treasure. The "memories" were just getting in the way.

Laurie gave me the following tips that helped me tremendously:

1. Keep only what you LOVE! Holiday items tend to be favorites and are fun to display over the years.

2. If you REALLY love it ~ consider framing it.

3. If it looks like the teacher painted it / assembled it ~ definitely toss it.

4. If you have a memory associated with it ~ take a photograph of the item and put it in an album dedicated to "Emma's Artwork."

5. Try to not let artwork pile up. Putting it in a cabinet or drawer to "deal with later" just creates a bigger project for another day. For example, Charlie just came home with a precious easter bunny basket made out of a milk jug - I displayed it through Easter and then took his picture holding it. I felt good about subsequently tossing the piece of art into the trash.

My solution? My piles of artwork (above) are now neatly preserved as photographs in "memory notebooks" for each child. I have saved 10 pieces of "holiday artwork" that I have laminated and stored in a slim art portfolio.

The end result? My children LOVE flipping through their "art albums" and remembering when they made a specific piece and brought it home to show mom & dad. Turns out the memories (and not the construction paper, glue & sequins) were what mattered most to them as well.

Today is trash day ~ the artwork has made its way into the bin. The tug at my heartstrings no longer exists because I have preserved the memory ~ which ultimately is what matters most.

Warmly,
Lori Martin

Thank you! We're Celebrating One Year!

The Purple Martin & Co. turns one on May 6th 2010 and it has been an exciting year!

Because of your support, business has grown from its original five founding muses in 2009 to a client base of more than 60 families.

My passion remains the same ~ to help families keep their critical information accurate, easily accessible and "tastefully elegant" at the same time.

I have enjoyed working with each family I have met over the past year and have had the honor of working with families of all different backgrounds ~ Working moms, Philanthropic moms, Moms of teens, Empty nesters, Clients parenting their "parents," Moms of preschoolers, Single moms, Traveling dads, Out of town families & even a family in Japan!

I have learned something new and truly special from each one of you. Everyone has different information needs but the one thing we can all agree on is that accurate and easily available information is critical.

Thank you for the privilege of allowing me to assemble your family's handbook. As I was helping your family, you also made a direct impact on the lives of other families in Charlotte. Our "Families Helping Families Initiative" has donated $5 from each handbook sold to "The Relatives" and has helped to raise awareness of this worthy cause.

Thank you for your continued support,
Warmly,
Lori Martin

I'm GREAT with Data .... "Stuff" is a Different Ballgame

When I work with Purple Martin & Co. clients I have the opportunity to show clients my quirky talent of organizing information. So much so that they often say ... "WOW your information is SO organized, I would LOVE to see your home." My VERY humble reply... "trust me, I am very normal. I am a mom of 3 busy kids and my forte is organizing information not stuff." That doesn't mean that my family lives in constant chaos (our home is neat) but it does mean that spatial organization comes as a bigger challenge to me than "data organization."

Maybe it is a right brain / left brain thing, but I frequently need to call in an expert to help me manage our family's spaces as we grow and emerge through different stages of life. I don't admit failure, and it doesn't mean we are a mess ... it just means that I need the advice of a professional who specializes in organizing "stuff" just like I am a professional who specializes in organizing "mommy data."

My biggest soft spot is for saving my children's belongings. Each piece of artwork they bring home, each funny note they leave me, each craft they construct at camp or school becomes something I find difficult to let go of. It is not that I am attached to the "physical creation" but rather the "emotional connection" associated with it. I remember the pride they had when they presented it to me as they walked off the bus that day. I remember the hug they gave me when they handed me the hand drawn card or the funny note they left out of anger when I sent them to their room for "no apparent reason" as the note in possession currently reads :-)

In short, there is a psychology for why we hold on to "stuff" associated with memories. So, tomorrow I am hiring my FAVORITE professional organizer, Laurie Martin with Simplicity. She is coming over to help me with the psychology of what qualifies as a "treasure" and worth preserving for posterity and what should be honored (i.e. displayed) and then discarded (obviously not in front of my children :-)) I am up for the challenge, but it may require LOTS of memory on my digital camera ... I may be able to let go of the "paper mache mask from kindergarten" but I may need to photograph it in order to preserve the memory.

I'll let you know how it goes!
Warmly,
Lori Martin

"Just My Style" Files ~ Customized for Your Child

A GREAT new product for young girls! The "Just My Style" Files is a personalized way to help your daughter put together outfits that "set her up for success" in her own wardrobe! We make the notebook and you take the photos of your daughter in outfits that you help pull together for her. Then she doesn't have to ask you "does this go together?" All she has to do is look in her "Just My Style Files!"

Have a great girls day with your own photo shoot and then let your daughter help design her own "Just My Style" Notebook!

This customized notebook includes:
1. Decorative Paper of your choice (Emma chose this cute Lilly P. Paper)
2. Personalized & Laminated Cover (monogram, full name in the font of your choice)
3. Four Customized Tabs in colors that coordinate with your paper selection
(Emma's are labeled: Play Clothes, Nice Casual, Going Shopping, and Church / Special Occasion)
4. 25 sheet protectors capable of holding 50 photographs (size 5 x 7 recommended)

Cost $40.00

Lori Martin
(704) 724-9108
thepurplemartin@bellsouth.net