Peace at 30,000 feet? For me, yes …. But not for every passenger. Some sleep, some work, some read … while others try not to focus on the thousands of feet of air and clouds between the plane we are flying in and the ground below. If we thought about if for too long, we would wish there was some sort of net that we could weave to guarantee a safe landing should something go awry.
When I’m at 30,000 feet (like I currently am at present) it makes me think of the nets I have been meticulously weaving for our family over the past few years. It was exactly 3 years ago that I was deeply impacted by Randy Pausch. He was dying of pancreatic cancer and in his final months he wrote and published “The Last Lecture.” In one of his final interviews, he was asked if he was sad about dying.
His reply, (paraphrased from my memory) “I can waste my time being sad, or I can spend that time being productive & weaving nets that will catch my wife & children when I am no longer here. You see, I won’t be here to catch them when they fall anymore. And they are about to fall off of a cliff.”
That lecture, coupled with my own health scare 6 years ago, caused me to think differently. Some may say it is morbid, others say I am overly organized, while others “get it.” You see, it is not my own mortality that scares me anymore. It is that tremendous “cliff falling experience” that my husband and children would certainly have should I no longer be a part of their physical lives.
There are the popular sayings:
Live each day to its fullest …. Squeeze the most out of each moment …. Don’t leave love unspoken and affection un-shown … you just never know how each day will end … live life with no regrets…
While I make a conscious effort to practice each of those on a daily basis, as a mom, I would also add ~ weave some nets…. And get busy doing so. By weaving nets, I don’t mean to literally “take up the art of weaving.” Instead, I mean don’t wait to pass on the treasures of your heart. Preserve your legacy so that each child feels a sense of “mommy net” woven just for them. Leave them something emotionally tangible, pieces of your heart, advice you want them to know, scripture or sayings that were impactful to you, the reason you fell in love with your spouse etc. You don’t need to wait to do this…. It can become a part of your daily life.
Another part of the fabric I weave into the nets for my children are the intricate details I already know about them. For example ~
One daughter ~ loves to read & her favorite book series right now is The Guardians. She is my social butterfly and will share her heart with you when you snuggle with her at the end of the day.
My son~ is my caterpillar that doesn’t like to draw attention to himself, will play sports but will claim to dislike each one the first time he tries it, and will always eat a PB&J if he doesn’t like what you are cooking that evening.
My youngest ~ thinks her last name is “tornado” because we have described her that way for so long (lovingly of course). She can destroy a room in seconds with her messes and will help clean up if you make it a game. She LOVES her friends and school is her favorite activity.
These details I chronicle on a quarterly basis to ensure that those whom I have entrusted to care for them (in the event of the unthinkable) know my “heart knowledge” of my precious children. You see, the nets we weave for our children are also composed of tiny facets of their lives that they can’t yet describe themselves. Nobody knows my children better, when they are at their most relaxed & most vulnerable, than my husband & I. We wouldn’t want caregivers to lack the knowledge we already have of my little ones. Starting from scratch and trying to “figure them out” would be incredibly unfair to everyone involved.
So, I don’t view it as morbid or “overly organized” to regularly chronicle my children’s pet peeves, learning styles, favorite foods and fears (among other things). Instead, I view it as chronicling my heart over a series of months into a beautiful net that we hope to never need. And one day, I will publish each child’s book just for them ~ “Mommy’s heart …. Just for you.”
Warmly,
Lori Martin
Founder & Chief Operating Mom
