Mom Tip ~ What to Do with the Kid's "Fall Artwork?"

Mom Tip ~ No idea what to do with all of the "fall art" making its way home from school? I like to laminate the "fall art" by using placemat sized laminating sheets. We are sure to laminate a piece of "art" from each child and they get to use them at the dinner table! My kids get a kick out of that! They also make great (and economical!) gifts for grandparents!

Another favorite solution is to actually WEAR the "colored macaroni necklace!" I paired mine with a white t-shirt & a pair of stylish jeans! Wear with some fun flats to dress it up a bit. My kids are SUPER proud & when I wore mine today I got so many compliments! Just be sure to store it in a cardboard jewelery box ~ they are fragile.

Also, Happy Fall!

I'm "Micro" He's "Macro" & then there's the "Dog" ....

I just had an enlightening conversation with my husband, Andy. After 15 years together (5 dating & 10 married) we have finally come to the conclusion that I focus on the "MICRO" details of our family while he is responsible for the "MACRO" details .... the bigger picture. Perhaps wer're a bit slow on the take ... you may have figured this out years earlier than us in your relationship.

What was enlightening about this mundane fact is that we finally concluded that NEITHER of our roles is more important than the other and BOTH are INCREDIBLY stressful.

I would describe myself as the "Chief Operating Officer" of the household ~ the one responsible for the details ... all things mundane yet CRITICAL of the bottom line. We can't function without the details. Kids have to make it to school on time ... social structures for my 3rd grade daughter are AS important (if not more so) to her as her grades are .... my 5 year old must learn to read in this critical time period of elementary school .... AND my 2 year old needs to feel secure in her routine of having MILK while we rock at night WITH 5 different stuffed animals in our rocking chair before bed.

In harmonic contrast, my husband has always been the "Chief Executive Officer" .... the one with the mainstream "job" .... responsible for the "MAJOR" decisions that impact the BIG picture of our household, retirement, savings, overall livelihood! VERY BIG & HEAVY stuff!

What was SO amazing about our conclusion tonight is that there really is NO meshing of the 2 roles. For YEARS we have been trying to have each other understand the importance of our reason for BEING .... almost like our sense of "purpose" depended on it ....

I wanted him to understand HOW important it is for my daughter to have GOOD friends, to have a self esteem, to know that her opinion matters .... while he wanted me to understand that interest on a credit card is worse than charging the item for "convenience" in the first place. We're BOTH right ... there is NO winner ... just a lot of co-parenting & shared responsibility going on.

I'm SO thankful that we both care so passionately about our precious family to argue about the MICRO and the MACRO. At the end of our conversation we came out respecting our roles and appreciating the heavy responsibilities we each bear .... and appreciative that we are able to have confidence that we are each treasuring our responsibilities (whether mundane like my daily carpool gig ~ or globally important like my husband's job).

It underscores the even more important role of our family handbook. He has the safety of knowing that the "road map" of the mundane responsibilities that I take such pride in are documented in a place that he can reference in a pinch.

He has safety in knowing that I am "all over" the Halloween party I am in charge of tomorrow for the kindergarten class .... but that he could figure it out if he had to. Likewise, if I had to understand in a split second the financial web he is in charge of for our family's future, I do know who to call and how to be on top of the "macro plan" in a New York Minute.

That leads us to the DOG ... our CRAZY, precious new family mascot "Hemingway" ~ he is a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel who has us all wrapped around his 4 little paws. He has thrown us for a loop ~ both "MICRO" speaking & "MACRO" speaking. He was expensive (i.e. NOT in the financial plan) .... purchased to appease my 8 year old (who we promised at age ONE that we would buy her a dog by the time she was 7 .... what were we thinking???) So ironically enough HE IS the common denominator tying this all together .... he is the "wrench in the works" that makes us laugh and cry each time we realize that adding him to our family was a CRAZY decision we made together ....

Our dog ... the crazy decision that Andy & I BOTH made from a MACRO and MICRO perspective together .... a common denominator we can both agree was fatally flawed but pricelessly adorable and equally loved. How funny that a four legged friend can come to symbolize something so "micro" and "macro" to a marriage 15 years in the making .....

All the best to you and yours!
Lori

Customized Family Handbook ~ Budget Friendly in Time for the Holidays!

We are excited to officially launch the "budget friendly" customized family handbook line! This fashionable and VERY customized family handbook takes the most common five tabs that mom's need in a pinch and puts them in a fashion binder designed by Carolina Pad & Co.

The five tabs that are most common amongst moms are as follows:
Emergency Information
Medical Contacts
School Contacts
Family Contacts (neighbors, babysitters, in town & out of town family)
General Family Routine

These 1 inch fashion binders are very popular and the cost is much more budget friendly at $70.00.

This makes a GREAT Holiday Gift and if you don't have time to obtain the information needed for the handbook, we can wrap up the "shell" (binder, tabs, monogram pouch etc.,) and include the $70 gift card towards personalizing the entire binder for your loved one or friend.

A sample photo is attached.

Setting "Great" (age appropriate) Expectations

I learned a wonderful lesson from a client today. Setting expectations from the outset is VERY important ... even critical. Delays happen ... life gets in the way of meeting deadlines... but setting expectations from the very beginning allows everyone to plan accordingly and hence, avoid frustration.

The same can be said for parenting our children. Setting expectations at the BEGINNING of the school year (or even just the beginning of the DAY) is the BEST way to ensure everyone understands the household rules & responsibilities.

Last night an amazing 3rd grade teacher at my daughter's school said that she is teaching our children to "begin with the end in mind." She wants them to begin their work, begin their day, begin their friendships, begin their family relationships, begin all things with the END result in mind. WOW! I was blown away with her wisdom! If we all lived our lives this way, world peace would be within reach!

Well, at the end of today I would have settled for peace in my own home. Unfortunately, chaos ensued in my house today! The volume at our home was at its worst from 4pm to 8pm. You probably know this time of day well .... when the kids are tired, mom is tired, everyone is hungry, and frustrated ... just to name a few. All of the children need their own down time but end up competing for your attention while you struggle to fix dinner.

At 4pm today the volume at our home was SO loud that I am surprised my neighbors didn't call to find out what all of the screaming was about! In case any of my wonderful neighbors are reading this, the volume can be summed up as follows .... Molly grabbed a toy from Charlie, who grabbed it back, who then in turn ran away from Molly .... who then ran through the house screaming bloody murder trying to get it back .... then the puppy (who was supposed to be on a walk with Emma who did not follow through with her responsibility) joined the chaos by chasing them both all over the house and ended up having an accident in Charlie's room ... Charlie then began to scream again because of the mess on his carpet .... ughhhh.

Needless to say, the start to our school year has been rough and tonight I have decided to adopt the lessons learned from both my client and our 3rd grade teacher .... 1. "Set Expectations" .... and 2. "Begin With The End In Mind."

Tonight the family rules will be unearthed from our family handbook and posted on our fridge as a reminder of our "expectations." I will probably take the time to laminate them and post them in other places around the house. Our rules are pretty basic, but a refresher is definitely needed to "re-set those expectations."

(rules directly from the Martin Family Handbook)
1. Treat Others As You Want to Be Treated
* No Hitting, No Grabbing, No Kicking
* Use Kind Words
* Use your words when your feelings are hurt, not your actions
* ALWAYS tell the truth, even when you think it will get you into trouble

2. Treat Our Possessions with Respect* Do not jump or climb on furniture
* Clean up when you are through playing

3. Have Fun
* Families are special, enjoy your time with each other
* Laugh Every Day
* Encourage Each Other and Celebrate the Good Times

My children will wake up with a visual reminder of our family rules & expectations. Their day will begin anew as we start with "a peaceful end in mind." Then tomorrow we will review them after a peaceful family dinner (that I prepare in advance while the baby is sleeping). My promise to myself .... to wake up tomorrow morning with the "the end of a peaceful day" in mind.

I’ll let you know how it goes .... All the best!
Lori Martin

An Act of Grace ~ I Didn't Deserve

Ok - so this isn't really a tip for today .... just a reminder of what a complete wreck I can make of other people's schedules when I make a mistake ... this just totally bums me out.

I am the one with the "data organizing business" .... I have my "desk reference family handbook" .... my "on the go family handbook" with the "color coded calendar" and a Blackberry!

I (of all people) should have my routine down to scientific perfection .... I should never be late to an appointment ... mess up a carpool (I am the queen of carpool emergency cards) ... miss a meeting ... forget to return a phone call ... pay a bill late .... or forget anything off of my grocery list.

Unfortunately, today .... was just one of those days I wished I had "woken up in Australia." Have you ever read the children's book "Alexander & The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day." Where after a bad day he tells his mom that he wished he could move to Australia to escape bad days? Her reply ... "some days are like that ... even in Australia."

So here were my gaff's in order .... they all add up to a pretty big mess:

1. I got the time wrong on my girls' doctor appointments today. I originally thought they were for 9am then checked my calendar yesterday and realized I had written them down for 2pm. When I showed up at 2pm today they told me the appointment was for 11am all along .... SERIOUSLY .... what is wrong with me? How did I manage to get ONE appointment wrong 3 times!!

2. I had managed to think through the morning carpool routine enough in advance to know that I needed to find a ride to school for my daughter (I had told the original carpool that we wouldn't need a ride because I thought my daughter was going to the doctor instead - back when I thought the appt was at 9~~!

3. I didn't think through the afternoon carpool implications of a 2pm doctor's appointment until after I walked the dog today at 11am (yes - that is the original time I was SUPPOSED to be at the pediatrician)! I realized (only 4 hours before school let out) that I would either have to ask another mom to switch days with me OR not tell anyone and still drive carpool (even though my own child wasn't participating) and have the kids be home a little later than usual. My thoughtlesness (or just lack of thought ... I wasn't trying to be rude but it WAS rude nonetheless) caused a big interruption in her day.

4. After wrecking my schedule, my girls' 'schedule, my carpool mom's schedule AND the pediatrician's schedule I was definitely wishing for Australia!

Here was the end result .... a COMPLETELY unexpected and UNDESERVED act of amazing grace and kindness!!!

When my pediatrician (Dr. P!) heard from her nurse that I had arrived (3 hours late .... ) she came BACK to work (she was already in her car leaving the parking lot!) to see my girls. I am still bowled over by her graciousness for my tardiness. She was NOT short with me, not the slightest bit put out .... no huffs ... no, "please remember to be on time next time" .... no smirks ... NO lessons at all! She was JUST as gracious and kind AND amazing as she always is! WOW!!!

I had a friend in college who taught me a good lesson one time .... she said "when you are late to an appointment or meeting you unconsciously tell the other person that YOUR time is more valuable than theirs." She is SO right. Today I unconsciously told everyone that my time was more important than theirs .... Except for Dr. P whose act of undeserved graciousness dismissed my gaff and said "i forgive you" through her act of kindness.

The lesson ~ I need to be more gracious & forgiving to those who make mistakes that disrupt MY schedule! I have received the lesson today that a bit of undeserving grace goes a LONG way! I can't wait to pay it forward TENFOLD!!!

Go ahead, wreck my day .... I've got grace to freely give!

Thanks Dr. P!

Mommy Tip of the day ~ When your routine doesn't work ... let things go!

I was the kid in school who had to be involved in EVERYTHING. Clubs, Music, Equestrian activieies & the occasional game of tennis tended to drive my schedule into the ground most days. Somehow in high school, I even managed to hold down a part time job at a dry cleaners! I actually WASHED the shirts! There are not many memories I can recall where I was not scheduled to do something.

I can remember walking home from school (we did that back then) in the 2nd grade and telling my friend (who asked me to come over to play) that I couldn't play because I had an activity every day of the week. I honestly do not know how my mother did it! My father traveled EVERY day of the week and I was the oldest child of 3! How did she get us everywhere, still manage to put dinner on the table AND maintain her sanity? I am so grateful for all of the experiences I had as a child! Thanks Mom ... you're the best!!

I just can't seem to pull it all off nearly as gracefully as her .... So ~ this fall I have had a "watershed" moment and made a big lifestyle change for my kids (and me!). Not everyone will agree with me, but I wrote down my personal priorities and decided this new idea was best for my ENTIRE family.

We are giving up afterschool activities for the ENTIRE fall. The only activity will be brownies for my eight year old who has a passion for earning her adorable badges! The bonus is that the troop leaders are great AND we have a fabulous carpool!

I know this sounds radical .... even CRAZY! What mom would deny her kids the activity of organized soccer in the fall, or flute lessons, or art class! These are important, even required for college admittance these days ... aren't they?

Well, when it came down to it, my kids just wanted to be kids for a few more weeks while we transition into school. When asked what they want to participate in this fall, my question was met with grimaces and a few "forced" answers.

As a result, I have officially decided to trade in Junior Soccer for Family Game Night! We are taking a break from the "required" events of sports, piano practice, & swim lessons I would have normally signed everone up for this fall! Instead, we are having "old fashoned play time" after school and "family game night" after I put the my 2 year old to bed. We are having a blast!

Today, for example, my kids ran in from school and begged to play in the sprinkler! Of COURSE I said yes! I got to cook dinner in peace (didn't have to run around town in the car during rush hour) AND they had some amazing fun together! (RARE ... and treasured fun!)

Whether or not your family needs a break from the "required" (or seemingly so) events of fall activities, I HIGHLY recommend a family game night! Our NEW favorite game is Gobblet (see picture)! It is like tic tac toe ... only your pieces can actually gobble one another! My 8 year old and I had a blast playing this tonight and we both had a hard time putting it down! After I put the younger two children to bed, I snuck into her room for a face off ... (I let her win) but it was SO much fun!

I will trade this activity with driving around Charlotte in rush hour for a soccer pick up ANY day of the week!

PLEASE do not get me wroing ... I LOVE activities ... ESPECIALLY soccer! Our family, just needed a new adjustment to school and decided to trade fall activities for family time together. It has ended up not only being TONS of fun, but also economical! My husband gave me bonus points for keeping the activity budget more in the "black!"

My bit of advice for you today ... don't be afraid to challenge the status quo! If your schedule is maddening, even just slightly annoying .... let things go! Simplify your schedule and simplify your life.

If you live in Charlotte, and need new family game ideas, check out the game selection at Toys & Co. in Cotswold! That is where we found Gobblet and today they had all games 20% off!!

All the best to a happy start to your school year!!!

Got Carpool? You NEED Carpool Cards! What Are They? Read Below .....

As quirky as it is, my odd talent of "data organization" does come in handy if you happen to be in one of my MANY carpools! This year I am in 4 different carpools with lots of children I barely know. As a helpful (hopefully not pushy) gesture to ALL of the moms in my multiple carpools, I have put together Carpool Cards (laminated on very cool decorative paper) for EACH respective carpool.

What Are Carpool Cards?
These cards contain ALL critical information for each child in the carpool.

Child's Name & Age
Address
Allergies
Car Seat Requirements
Car Sickness Susceptibility
Teacher's Name / Grade
Mom's Cell Phone
Home Phone
Dad's Cell Phone
Dad's Work Phone
Emergency Contact Name & Number

Why is this important?
1. Your child's safety is paramount! These cards help avoid any miscommunication by ensuring everyone has each other's important emergency information.
2. Not every mom takes the time to program important numbers into her phone.
3. You can't take for granted that moms will remember if your child has a food allergy.
4. If your child is required to ride in a booster seat, it helps to also put that in writing so each mom in the carpool will remember.
5. I have (on more that one occasion) not been able to find a child I was supposed to pick up from school. I immediately turn to my carpool card and start dialing ALL of that child;s emergency numbers until I can get a "live person" on the phone to tell me if that child was either not at school, or had other plans today.
6. One one occasion I was unable to locate my OWN child. She arrived home 45 minutes late! It turns out the mom who drove that day took the kids for ice cream and forgot to call. No big deal ... I just called everyone on the card until I found out where they were :-)

No Time To Make Your Own?
No problem! I would be GLAD to make carpool cards for YOUR carpool! You can email thepurplemartin@bellsouth.net. I will coordinate ALL of the information from everyone in your carpool. Assemble the cards and laminate them on decorative paper of your choice.

Setup fee is $15.00 Each Card is $3.50.