"Just My Style" Handbook

I had to laugh this morning as I let my 2 year old head off to school having selected her own outfit for the day (before I woke up at 6am). She came downstairs wearing VERY proudly (in the middle of March) a summer smocked gingham top, pajama bottoms (shorts), and then proceeded to march out the door in her snow boots .... "just in case" she said in her "big girl voice." I threw the "right seasonal clothing" in her school bag for her teachers to fight the battle (if they felt it was necessary) and off we went. Her spirit was still in tact and she was SO proud of her accomplishment.

I contrast her choices with my now 8 1/2 year old third grader who is wanting so desperately to be "in fashion" and wearing the clothes of her own choosing. The only difference is that at age 8 she is capable of learning a few fashion "do's and don'ts" - such as we don't mix a plaid with a stripe. We don't wear tank tops in winter (unless as an undergarmet) and suede boots in summer look a little "silly" in church. The really delicate fact is that at age 8 her feelings are hurt very easily and I want to set her up for successful choices of HER choosing in her closet. My ultimate goal ~ to let HER make good choices while keeping her "spirit" and "self confidence" in tact.

Our mutual solution? We went SPRING shopping together at Old Navy where I knew there would be fashionable choices she would love at a price I could afford. Before we went, we took an inventory of her existing closet contents so we knew what we needed and what we already had. That way she had a good idea of pieces we should purchase that would "extend" her existing closet contents.

After taking our list of "needs" to Old Navy I let her do her own shopping with gentle guidance. I followed her through the store with the shopping cart letting her put her "ideas" in the cart. Then I let her inventory the items she thought would "go together" and we headed to the dressing room to try on her choices. As she tried them on, I made little suggestions like "a jean jacket would look GREAT over that sundress if you were cold when we are at the beach this summer." OR "that striped shirt will look great with a pair of white capris AND pink capris." We had a BALL together and we left having educated each other on 3rd grade "fashion" and "wardrobing."

Our next step was to have a "fashion show" at home with her new outfits. I had her try on all her new clothes and then added pieces from her existing wardrobe to show her how the pieces we already had at home would fit together with her new ones! We had the best time and she made "model" poses while I snapped away.

I then developed the photos I took of her in the outfits and put them in a really cool "Style Book" that she keeps in her room. Now, when she can't remember what is appropriate to wear to church, all she does is flip to the "church outfit" section of her style book and see the outfits we put together for her to wear ~ including shoes & accessories!

She LOVES her style book and now does not need to ask me if what she has selected "goes together." She just looks in her style book that SHE helped to create!

Mission Accomplished ~ Budget Friendly Shopping with 3rd Grade Style & A Self-Confident 8 Year Old Making GOOD Choices

There's Just Not An App For That

My most frequently fielded question is .... why do I need a "paper based" handbook system for my family when my technology works just great for me?

The simple answer is there just isn't the technology available to provide your family with an easy to understand guide to how your household operates. Our lives as moms are much more complex than our i-phones, pc's and our information straddles the "electronic" and "paper based" platforms.

NOT SHAREABLE
There are many reasons, but the biggest reason is that technology is not a universally "shareable" device. Our PC's & personal devices do not give us a "clear voice" and they do not clearly interpret our intentions for our family.

My i-phone is meant for me only. I store information at a moment's notice (generally on the fly in the carpool line) and contact fields are most likely not used to their full capacity. I can't tell you if the "phone number" for my doctor is in the doctor's proper "work #" field - it may just as easily be stored in the email line because that is where my cursor landed at the time. I really can't even ensure that my doctor's name is spelled correctly in my i-phone - so my husband may not be able to find it in my device if he tried.

NOT EASILY INTERPRETED
Now - assuming my i-phone contacts were in pristine condition and every contact was labeled correctly. If I was in a medical emergency, my husband would not be able to know who was responsible for running carpool that day, unless he looked at my carpool schedule (in my daily routine tab). He also wouldn't know the bus number for my son (in the Myers Park traditional tab).

NOT WORTHY OF MY DEVICE
The even bigger reason is that the majority of this information is not worthy of my i-phone. I want (and NEED) to be able to look up the email address of the assistant preschool registrar, but I don't necessarily need her information in my i-phone. I also NEED to know the emergency contacts for the children in my carpools, but I will never logically remember how to look up Grandma Myrtle (of no relation to me) in my cell phone if I need her in a pinch. I need her information in a list with all of the other information for my carpool crew.

I bet that one day there WILL be an app for this. I would love to develop it! But until babysitters, caregivers, schools, doctors, summer camps, service providers and everyone else goes 100% paperless ~ us mom's are going to need our handbooks.

Purple Martin Clients Pay It Forward!

All clients of The Purple Martin & Co. are automatically a part of my passion ... "Paying It Forward to Youth In Crisis." By working with The Purple Martin & Co. to create a "Family Handbook" for your family, I automatically make a donation in your honor to The Relatives.

The Relatives is a co-ed, 9-bed emergency shelter for runaway, homeless, and other youth in crisis from ages 7-17.
The Relatives is the only shelter for youth in Mecklenburg County and it is operated by a local nonprofit agency called Alexander Youth Network. The money to pay for the shelter to be open every day of the year and around-the-clock comes from national, state and federal grants, corporations, foundations, individuals and even some former residents.

I have coined my mission "Families Helping Families" ... for the simple fact that as I help your family create a "safe" and critical family handbook, I make a donation in your honor to help keep other youth & families in crisis safe, too.

I want to take a moment today to thank the more than 50 clients whom have already participated in the initiative during 2009! The children thank you, the staff of The Relatives thanks you and I personally, want to thank each and every one of you! Your support has helped many families & youth in crisis.

For additional information on "The Relatives," & other ways you can help, please see www.therelatives.org.

Valentine's Ideas?

These ADORABLE shirts put guaranteed smiles on my girls' faces today! A cute custom valentine is a photo of your children that you stick on a piece of card stock and have the kids decorate! They make PRICELESS gifts for grandparents!

To order your valentine t-shirts from Kamie Rudisill - see www.dizzydaisydesigns.net

A Purple Martin Fave ~ Valentine T's

Looking for something really sweet & unique for your children this Valentine's day? Customize an ADORABLE ruffle edge T-shirt by Dizzy Daisy Designs. My kids received Dizzy Daisy custom shirts for Christmas and they were a BIG hit! Kamie's business is a personal favorite of mine and her designs can be put on water bottles (stainless steel), stationery, bag tags & more! Check out her website at www.dizzydaisydesigns.net Live in Charlotte and pick up your order at Kamie's home to save the nominal shipping charge.

The Obvious Information We Frequently Overlook ...

Mom Tip ~ The obvious information we need to have at our fingertips is sometimes the most frequently overlooked. Most of us wouldn't think of our address as being a critical piece of information ... it just seems so obvious that someone in our home should know where we live.

However, we often forget that a new babysitter will not automatically know our address if he / she had to call 911 to report an emergency. He / She may not even know your spouse's name.

Additionally, if a neighbor had to come into our home to assist in an emergency, he / she may not know our critical phone numbers. Or, if your child needed to call your spouse at work, would she know the number?

A great way to keep all of this information available at all times is to keep a laminated sheet by your phone that has the following critical information:

1. Your Names
2. Home Address
3. Home Phone Number
4. Your Cell Numbers
5. Work Number / Spouse's Work Number
6. Work Fax Number / Spouse's Fax Number
7. 911
8. Poison Control
9. Phone Number for Your Alarm Company
10. Primary Physician's Phone Number
11. Veterinarian (if you have a pet)
12. A list of all allergies, prior surgeries, and current medications for each family member.

If you have a family handbook, all of this information should be kept in the "emergency section." Make sure all of your family members are familiar with the location of this critical information.

Customized Week at a Glance Journals ~ Priceless

Journaling the "Crazy Moments" of Mommyhood Provides Laughs & Perspective.

It has been awhile since I have updated my blog with the latest happenings of the "Mo-Nado" aka our "Molly Tornado." She is now 2 1/2 years old and is still reinventing the phrase "busy toddler." The photo attached is how she greeted me the other morning at 6:30am ~ yes, that is a blue ball point pen she used to draw a "Rudolph nose" and "mustache" on herself (she told me herself - proudly).

I just had to photograph the moment before I searched the house for the other "remnants" of her "pen destruction." Luckily, she managed to avoid marking up the furniture & walls too. This photo now graces the page of January 14th in my "Mommy Journal."

My New Years Resolution was to "look for the good" in each of my children every day ~ despite the tough day to day challenge parenthood can "feel" like at times. To help remind me of their precious childhood qualities (these years are much to short) during the frustrating "ball point pen moments" I have started a mommy journal.

It is a simple "week at a glance" calendar I keep by my bedside table. Each evening I document one silly, sassy or even frustrating moment for each of my children. I journal how the moment shows their "personality," "good intentions" or "growing pains." It is something I re-read the next evening and end up laughing hysterically at how they each brighten my day ~ even in the crazy moments.

For your "week at a glance" customized mommy journal ~ email thepurplemartin@bellsouth.net or call (704) 724-9108 ~ cost is $45

Mom's Pick Their Style ~ Your Children Provide The Inspiration! Nothing replaces your hand-written record of your children's funniest moments!



All the best ~
Lori Martin